What is it?
Blood? I hope this isn't Chris's Blood.
Hi my name is Cunzy1 1, formerly one of the co-authors of That Guy's a Maniac, the world's second greatest video game blog of all time and I have a passion reader. A guilty passion. That is for dinosaurs in video games!
Every child or larvae has a fleeting obsession with dinosaurs (and other extinct prehistorid animals). They are big, scary and mysterious. But then girls get more interested in being women. A bit later boys get interested in the women that the girls are trying to become and dinosaurs kinda fall off the radar. THAT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME. Not to say I didn't become interested in women, WOMEN FRICKIN DINOSAURS. But then as I entered 'kidulthood' I began to become interested in videogames. After a time my two passions fused and collided, neurones were formed in my brain which bypassed all my "Don't obsess over dinosaurs in videogames" parts of my brain. Fortunately, my real day to day job brings me into contact with dinosaurs so this kinda counts as research.
Why this blog?
After clogging up That Guy's a Maniac with posts about dinosaurs I took it upon myself to become the World's Authority on Dinosaurs in Video Games. I'm going to collect them all, bust them wide open and make notes on the scientific accuracy of the games and their dinosaurness.
If you know of a game featuring dinosaurs* and other prehistoric animals** let me know and I'll add it to the 'must get and play' list. Then only then will I be the world's leading expert on dinosaurs in games. Hah!
*I mean real dinosaurs. That means no Yoshi or Bub and Bob. Possible evolutionary descendants of dinosaurs or genetically enhanced ones are allowed (e.g Dino Crisis 3). Godzilla is right out I'm afraid.
** You know what I mean mammoths, coelodonta, pterosaurs, icthyosaurs, plesiosaurs, ammonites, trilobites, vendezoa, carpoids etc.......
Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing Wild World, Ape Escape
Dinosaurs you say? What now? Well good friends Animal Crossing has dinosaurs a plenty. Your town in Animal Crossing has an empty museum and you can decide whether to donate any fossils, insects, fish or paintings you find. Blathers the museum curator is always happy to identify fossils and accept donations. Alternatively you can erect the fossils and skeletons in your house or sell them to Tom Nook, the village trader. This could be seen as condoning the illegal trade in fossils readers! Be wary! Here's a screenshot (above from gamespot).
Dinosaurness: Well there are a range of fossils of dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures including Amber, an Ammonite, Ankylosaurus, Apatosaurus, Archaeopteryx, Dimetrodon, Dinosaur droppings, a Dinosaur Egg, Dinosaur Footprint, a fern fossil, Iguanodon, Mammoth, Pachycephalosaurus, Parasaurlophus, Peking Man, Plesiosaurus, Pteranodon, a Fossil Shark Tooth, Seismosaurus, Stegosaurus, Tyrannosaurus rex, Triceratops and a Trilobite.
Ape Escape-Playstation
Deathtrap Dungeon, Demo 1, Dino Crises, Dino Masters, Dinotopia the Sunstone Pirates
There's like this Tyrannosaurus rex in it on the circus level and if you preordered the game you got this cool little card game with it too. That also had a T.rex in it albeit a card. Deathtrap Dungeon was both very hard and cool. You should get a copy of it today. In fact, better still send me copies!
Dinosaurness: Malheuresement, there was only one dinosaur in DD and that was the "king" of all dinosaurs T.rex
Scientific Accuracy: Not good. I'd say a 2/10. The T.rex is anatomically fair enough but I'm not sure about it's presence in a Circus themed dungeon miles underground. More research is needed by scientists to discover the possible origins of this Tyrannosaurus rex. Maybe it was transported from elsewhere or maybe it was found underground. Either way Science needs to find an answer.
Buzz Bonus: I don't really like Tyrannosaurus rex, as a species it totally sold out man. There are totally cooler dinosaur species which are like so underground right now, you probably haven't heard of them. For example one of my favourite bands, Yanchuangosaurus, I have all their albums and they haven't actually released any commercially yet and I saw them play behind one of the stages at Reading and like they were the best and I know someone who totally went to school with their ex-drummer.
Demo 1-PlayStation
Not a game as such but the Demo 1 disc that came with the original Playstation had two tech demos, one of a Manta Ray and one of a frikkin Tyrannosaurus rex. He would stomp along the screen to a bum, bum, de bum, bum theme tune. You could spin the camera and zoom in and zoom out. There was also a button you could press to make hime OPEN HIS MOUTH! Unfortunately, the Manta ray one was much better. The music was better and you could press buttons to make ALL THE FISHES SWIMMING AROUND IT go away or come back again! Screenie needed for this one.
Dinosaurness: Again. Only a T.rex :(
Scientific Accuracy: It wasn't bad. Of course nowadays it looks dated. However, the T.rex was running in a black void. How did he get there? Was it cold? Like all the good science questions and like the end of every Panorama or Horizons TV episode more research is needed to answer these questions.
Buzz Bonus: Fishes go away, fishes come back. Fishes go away, fishes come back. Fishes go away, fishes come back. Fishes go away, fishes come back. Fishes go away, fishes come back. Fishes go away, fishes come back. Fishes go away, fishes come back. It was hours and hours of fun I'm tellin' ya.
Dino Crisis- Dreamcast, PC, PlayStation
Capcom's dinosaur version of Resident Evil. There's a thing and then there's dinosaurs and then shooting of said dinosaurs. However, Regina (above) must have the same crippling disease that the Resident Evil crew have in that she can't run and shoot. Women are supposed to excel at multitasking though! Ha.
Dinosauriness: On a recent playthrough, the dinosauriness is a lot less than I originally remembered. Anyway here's the list. Compsognathus, Deinonychus, Therizinosaurus, T.rex and Velociraptor. Clicks for Pteranodon too.
Scientific Accuracy: Quickly glazing over the time travelling aspects (naturally) some of the dinosaurs appear to be anachronistic with regards to each other, Compsognathus known from the Jurassic and Deinonychus known from the early Cretaceous. The others are pretty much coeval without too much of a leap in time. By and large the titular creatures seem quite accurate in scale with the exception of Velociraptor but what'cha gonna do about it? 6/10
Buzz Bonus: Beating the game in a certain time unlocked extra outfits. Beating the game again unlocked Regina's cave woman outfit. Yes it did.
Dino Crisis 2-PC and PlayStation
Yes hot on the heels of Dino Crisis came the imaginatively titled Dino Crisis 2. Following the mysterious events in a mansion on the outskirts of Racoon City. Sorry, following the events of some time travelling doo-dah, there is another oppurtunity for shooting some dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures! Yaaay! Since the previous game Regina and company mastered running and shooting, significantly increasing survival chances.
Dinosauriness: The roster was boosted for the second game. This time Allosaurus, Compsognathus, Giganotosaurus, the Permian gorgonopsid Inostrancevia, Mosasaurus, Oviraptor, Plesiosaurus, Pteranodon, Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus rex and Velociraptor make up the dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures list.
Scientific Accuracy: Ummm yes. Time travel aside some big anachronisms with the spp. present. But it's an action game so get on with it.
Buzz bonus: Regina's outfit was unlockable in Resident Evil 3 (see above). Brad looks horrified Regina!!
Dino Crisis 3-Xbox
As is inevitable with any series there is a strong impetus to 'ramp it up' from one game to the next. Unfortunately, in the instance of Dino Crisis 3 this particular sequel ruined an otherwise nice series of games. In a bid to keep the series alive the setting was shifted to space and the real dinosaurs and prehistoric creatures were unceremoniously changed to electric zombie versions. The controls were also changed from intuitive to very bad. Sad but true.
Dinosaurness: No real dinosaurs per se but lots of modified versions of real spp. Here is the list; Ankylosaurus, Giganotosaurus, Spinosaurus, Tyrannosaurus rex and Velociraptor. Really breaking the mold with that selection. Yes sir.
Scientific Accuracy: After we take of points for setting it in space and then further points for the mutated DNA storyline. I won't spoil it but the accuracy here is low. 3/10 is an arbitary measure I have decided to give it.
Buzz Bonus: Despite the B movie plot, awful controls and camera this game is very nice looking and if you get a chance watch some of the cutscenes on Youtube because they are good in a dinosaur stompy way.
Dino Masters- Nintendo DS
Dino Master is a little game I had been trying to get hold of for a long time. And thanks to Santa Claus, I now have it! Initial words from the internet slated this game, unneccessarily so. Gamespot criticised the controls system, claiming that stylus input is "unpredictable". This simply isn't the case. I say that Gamespot should stop employing monkeys who can't hold a stylus to review games. Of all the criticisms that could be aimed at this game, stylus input isn't one of them. I've had more trouble with the touch screen on Metroid and the Phantom Hourglass but you don't hear the shallow ninty-philes whinge about that. How dare they! Anyway, simply you have to collect fossils, reanimate them and then there is an option to use them in battle against a handful of bots or over wi-fi (I cannot imagine this game has ever been played over wi-fi). So far, so Pokemon or Fossil Championship Tournament league (or whatever it's called). Well after extensive gmeplay I can tell you it is the greatest DS game to date. Definitely the game of 2007. Try and find a copy, you won't be upset!
Dinotopia: The Timestone Pirates-GBA
This little gem for the GBA, despite having a high potential to be another tie-in rubbishness is.........actually alright. It plays solidly, the graphics are nice, even if the whole thing is a little bit generic. There is a platforming section, a side scrolling shooting section and a submarine section. Downsides: The main character looks like Frodo Baggins and It's hard to get drawn in to the story which is basically: Frodo fights pirates who took eggs to get to the Timestone. It's up to you to work through several get from A to B levels, using your sunprod to find T.rex eggs and unveiling the mystery behind why pirates might want a Timestone. A stone that controls time. Hmmmm I wonder?
Dinosauriness: Due to the nature of the source material, a series which, weirdly, completely passed me by, there are a plethora of dinosaurs in the game and other prehistoric creatures feature either as rudimentary vehicles or nice background animated features also in the "cut scenes". However, I have yet to complete this game so this list may not be comprehensive:
Brachiosaurus, Dunkleosteus, Parasaurlophus, Plesiosaurus, Protoceratops, Pteranodon, Quetzalcoatlus, Tyrannosurus Rex. Dinosaurs that look like Triceratops and Kentrosaurus appear in one of the cut scenes featuring the Dinotopia council. I don't know if that officially counts though.
Scientific Accuracy: Yeah, it's got legs, I'm not so convinced about some of the scales of the dinos and the 'shipwrecked humans living with sentient dinosaurs' bit is a stretch too far. The Frodo cross over is just a hollywood cash in. God damn you Hollywood and your cash-ins.
Buzz Bonus: I have nothing interesting to say about this game. Except check out the clips of Dinotopia on YouTube. It's awful. Wentworth Miller acts like he is twelve years old and has been starched for a week. Ha ha! "Wentworth". Ah.........
Final Fantasy VIII
Although the fakiness of the dinosaurs in Final Fantasy VIII rivals that of Yoshi or of Bub and Bob the dinosaur in FFVIII makes the list because, hey it's my list and I think it's good enough. That's right kids I'm talking about T-Rexaur (seen here from IGN).
Dinosauriness: Once again that veritable slut of a videogame dinosaur a T-rex. Well a fake T-Rex.
Scientific Accuracy: I'm not sure of the SI unit for scaryness. T-rexaur isn't that scary but it is big and a bit vicious so I'm going for a standard 6/10, Try Harder
Buzz Bonus: The card game on FFVIII was super addictive, like crack and pringles mixed up into one and made into a virtual card game. The T-rexaur card isn't particularly great. A solid left and right but the above and below numbers are tricky. A good one for putting down in the middle after cards had already been played above and below.
Guitar Hero 2
Yep. That's right. I completely discovered this on my own. Don't believe me huh? Yeah that’s right Guitar hero 2! I’m sure you are all asking yourselves, “Dinosaurs in guitar hero? How? Where ? As if!” Well they are and they are not… there are 2 separate references to Dinosaurs.First up we have the two player select screen (see above).
Dinosauriness: As you can see from the above picture it depicts a Mammoth, Sabre-toothed Tiger, an extinct antelope, an ancestor of the foxes, some kind of Dinornis, smaller mammals, cats etc.
A Fighter jet dropping a bomb on them all.When I first saw this I was admittedly shocked to see some obscure extinct animals just on a 2 player co-operative sceen. But then I realised that this may be a graphical representation of one of the songs, which brings me nicely onto the next instance of “Dinosaurs” in Guitar hero 2:One of the bonus tracks: Fall of Pangaea, by Valient ThorrAdmittedly when I saw this track name in there I should have spewed a load into my underwear straight away. However my ejaculate was suppressed as Pangaea nowadays is rarely used properly, it is usually used in Sci-fi or Fantasy as the name of some country on a different planet/reality. For those of you who don’t know what Pangaea is, it is the name given to the “Supercontinent” millions of years ago when USA, Russia, Africa, Europe Australia etc were all joined together in one big happy land-mass. Anyways back to me attempting to fertilise my boxers… I never really listened to the song as, well, the song is rather “Metal” and the lyrics can sometimes be inaudible.Check out the Lyrics:before the dawning of mankindother creatures roamed this landthey were from a far off timeand they brought with them a planfrom a dying portal in the sky it came, a grey transporter set the skyablaze in search of sanctuary to the earth they came all life beforethis point had just been washed away asteroids and comets ripped rightthrough the atmosphere laid waste to all the dinosaurs its a cycle itsa cycle thats been going on since before this world began, even thoughthey cause destruction they’re vital they’re a vital part of reality,the spores in side were alive, when the dust settled over the oceanbedthey watched it they watched the natural process of evolution in theraw, lifeforms grew in the water and this is what they saw they sawvolcanoes, Earth was a wreck, the cooling of the lava produced a sideeffect they saw amoeba combine with light, they saw the first thingcrawl on land and try to walk upright they saw the dolphin, they sawthe ape, the combination of the two would help the world take shape(they bred them) on the beaches, it was called Pangea population spreadso fast it caused an imbalance, but that couldn’t stop em even then,c’mon!let’s get on the road, i got somethin to show, pull up yr roots, andpack yr bags, let’s go!let’s get on the road, i got somethin to show, pull up yr roots, andpack yr bags- let’s go to the mountain and then you will see the placewhere Pangea Ma-jor used to be the tectonic plates moved where workershad mined the shift in the continents divided mankind Tidal waves brokethe goddamned thing in half, 7 pieces that wouldn’t last spread likegerms, thats the human virus form seeds were planted here on earth,young mothers then gave birth they remembered the men from the sky,named them gods and never questioned why?climb up the mountain and see for yrself, the ice caps are melting awayfrom the shelf the earth is evolving, you must have forgot, the life onthis planet has only one shot.Tidal waves broke the goddamned thing in half, 7 pieces that wouldn’tlast earths been silent many times, u seem to forget:we are temporaryyou are temporarywe’re all temporaryAs you can see the lyrics do site some rather humorous palaeo-references. The whole song almost seems like an evolutionists “The end is nigh” sign… “The mass-extinction is coming”
Scientific Accuracy: Well the scale is out and there are some big anachronisms. The plane and the bombs? They came much later. I would also like to note that this entry is also not very scientifically accurate. The animals aren't given their proper names. It is as if I am having an off-day. Or like someone else wrote it....... Strange.
Buzz bonus: I also write another blog http://www.thatguys.co.uk/ with Richie. I always beat him at Guitar Hero 2 especially this song too!
Killer Instinct
Although the dinosaur character from arguably the greatest beat em up of all time (second maybe to Warpath Jurassic Park) this game featured a character called Riptor who is a genetically bred and altered velociraptor, created by Ultratech to fight! The genetic alterations means that he could cough up green fireballs and for that matter, be alive in the first place. SPOILER If you beat the game with Riptor you were treated to glimpses of a world overrun with Riptor clones. Quite how this would happen nobody knows.
Dinosauriness: Killer Instinct only features a velociraptor (genetic hybrid).
Scientific Accuracy: I'd like to stick out my scientific neck and say that I highly doubt that the future will permit genetic reanimation and/or fireball breathing. Also, if I were in the mind to, I would point out that Velociraptors probably didn't have forked tongues and that it would be cheaper for Ultratech to create a Deinonychus which is about the right size for Riptor rather than create a Velociraptor and make it bigger. But I won't 7/10. Entirely plausible.
Buzz Bonus: Killer instinct featured Ultra combos, combos of 20+ hits you could perform on an opponent on low life. Riptor's was quite hard to do in so much that I did it once, by accident. Then again maybe I wasn't skilled enough :( Remember that this was also back in the day before GAMEFAQs and Cheat Magazines and the book with the game didn't tell you all the moves. That was good times, when gamers were gamers. None of this Gameshark rubbish or GameFaqs. *sigh*
Paraworld
Paraworld is a RTS that would otherwise be average save for the fact that IT HAS DINOSAURS AND OTHER PREHISTORIC ANIMALS IN IT. The 'story' is that there is a parallel world which has dinosaurs and vikings and ninjas in it. Something about an evil organisation yada yada. More importantly you can build units of Dinoriders and wage big wars against other dino riders. If you squint and turn the sound down and sit like 3 metres from the screen it looks actually like the popular TV series Dinoriders. Amazing! It plays OK, well exactly like Warcraft III. But with dinosaurs and with the exception that some of the humurous comments your guys make when you keep clicking on them aren't very humurous. AT ALL. However, if you, like me, like dinosaurs and videogames then you should check Paraworld out.
Dinosaurness: It's like the most ultimate dinosaur (and other prehistoric animals) video game EVER. There are Achelousaurus, Allosaurus, Ankylosaurus, Apatosaurus, Archaeopteryx, Baryonyx, Bothriolepis, Brachiosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus, Carnotaurus, Coelodonta, Corythosaurus,Deinonychus, Dilophosaurus, Diplodocus, Dunkleosteus, Eusmilus, Gallimimus, Henodus, Iguanodon, Kentrosaurus, Kronosaurus, Lambeosaurus, Macroclemys, Maiasaura, Mammoth, Megaloceros, Muraenosaurus, Ornithocheirus, Oviraptor, Panoplosaurus, Parasaurolophus, Pentaceratops, Placochelys, Polacanthus, Psittacosaurus, Pteranodon, Quetzalcoatlus, Saltasaurus, Seismosaurus, Smilodon, Sordes, Spinosaurus, Stegosaurus, Stygimoloch, Styracosaurus, Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus rex, Velociraptor and Wild boar.
Scientific Accuracy: Apart from the whole "parallel world which has the exact same fauna as this one used to at various times in the past" not too bad. Some of the dinosaurs aren't to scale but many things in an RTS aren't too scale, like ships. More games should have Bothriolepis in it though for sure.
Buzz Bonus: Sometimes late at night I play Paraworld whilst listening to the Jurrassic PArk theme tune and, no word of a lie, all your units move faster and are better in combat. Bah bah, bah bah, bah da da da dut dut daaaaa, but bah da da deradeda daaaaaaaaaaa da de la da, usw.
Stranglehold and Super Smash Brothers
Mucho speculatory with this one but screenshots tell us that this game has a level set in a Natural History Museum and/or gallery.
Dinosauriness: From this screenshot alone (sorry) looks like we have: Archaeopteryx, Brachiosaurus, Dunkleosteus, a Mosasaur, Pteranodon, Tyrannosaurus (snore) and a Velociraptor.
Scientific Accuracy: Pretty scientifically accurate there my friends. All of the dinosaurs seem to be to scale and you can even see specific specimens, so the Velociraptor skeleton at the back on the left is the exact specimen from the 1971 Polish-Mongolia expedition and right at the back, almost obscured by the strut supporting the T.rex it looks like the British Museum specimen of Archaeopteryx! Wowsers. Probably the nicest looking virtual museum you'll ever see.
Buzz Bonus: There is currently only 2 PCs worldwide that can play Stranglehold the specs are that high. There is always the 360 tho'.
Super Smash Brothers Brawl-Nintendo Wii
Speculation city right now but from the looks of this screenie currently over at Smash Bros. DOJO it looks like fossil-o-rama at the new Pokemon Stadium.
Dinosauriness: From this screenshot and this screenshot alone it looks like we've got Kabutops and Omastar fossils which are the poke-parodies of Trilobites and Ammonites.
Scientific Accuracy: Well considering that it's set in a game where all the Nintendo characters come together to beat the crap out of each other I'd say.... PRETTY FRICKIN ACCURATE. 90% Accurate in fact.
Buzz Bonus: I don't have a Wii but this might change all that. Keep your eyes peeled citizens.
Timesplitters, Timesplitters Future Perfect and Tomb Raider 2
The original Timesplitters was one of the greatest games of all time. Seriously! But they then went and made the sequel infinitely better by adding a dinosaur character to the roster. He is just called Dinosaur.
Dinosauriness: Well surprise surprise it's just another T.rex. This species seems to be overwhelmingly popular with game makers.
Scientific Accuracy: I highly doubt that T.rex could fire or even hold automatic weapons. Indeed Bakker even says so much in the seminal volume the Dinosaur Heresies (Bakker 1986) in the chapter: Gun-toting, how sauropods and large theropods are at a serious disadvantage in all out gunfights. But it is Timesplitters 2 so I'm going to stick my neck out and say that this version of T.rex is perhaps the most accurate reconstruction ever to grace the screen. 10/10
Buzz Bonus: Timesplitters 2 was and still is the greatest game of all time. Timesplitters Future Perfect is and will always be the worst sequel of all time. This isn't the place for this rant but take my word for it. However, Dinosaur was in both games so we can thank the God of small mercies at least. Oh, also, according to the character gallery in Timesplitters 2 Dinosaur: "breathes fire and has vestigal forelimbs". I think the breathes fire bit might affect the scientific accuracy but it's too late to change it now. *sigh*
Tomb Raider 1
Tomb Raider 2-PlayStation & PC
On the first level, the Great Wall of China, right near the end of the level after the gauntlet and before the death slide to the Goon with a "Tommy Gun" on his keyring there is a pit with TWO Tyrannosaurus rex in it. There is also a secret with a grenade launcher.
Dinosaurness: Once again just T.rex the Jimmy Carr of TV for dinosaurs in games.
Scientific Accuracy: Low. Very Low. How two Tyrannosaurus rex got into the big pit is a mystery. Were they transported as babies and then fed until they grew into adults? In that case how come they aren't etiolated there isn't much light in an underground valley? Also who put them there? Why did they put them in the pit and not by the gate? Where did they find T.rex? All these questions and more. Also a population of 2 isn't going to be enough to keep a constant population of T.rex in the pit after a couple of generations, assuming that a)There's a boy and a girl, b)They aren't Homeosaurs ha ha ha and c)It doesn't matter anyway they aren't real and Lara kills them.
Buzz Bonus: I saw a real life T.rex in a pit once. I didn't go in though- too dangerous.
World of Warcraft
Dinosauriness: Well if I am generous and vague we'll say a Dimetrodon, Pterosaur, Smilodon, Stegosaurus, Tyrannosaurus and Velociraptor. Some of them could be representing a range of creatures though.
Scientific Accuracy: It's difficult to say as most of these guys are based-on but not tied to real species. We'll say 6/10.
Buzz Bonus: I have never played WoW for fear of spending all my time in Un'Goro crater. I would you know. I would